In the Front Seat Again

Today, my mother rode in the front seat of the car again – and didn’t even try to open the door.  Many of you may know that several months ago my mother had to stop riding in the front seat because she would open the door… while we were traveling down the highway. Today, I picked up her cremains at Serenity Meadows and let her ride home in the front seat.

I can’t believe how much I miss her antics, but I’m comforted that she’s in her right mind, in a better place, surrounded by family and friends who love her. What a reunion it must have been!

By the way, we have set a tentative date for her memorial service for Saturday, July 3, 2010. We’ll be meeting in the morning for brunch and then having the memorial service at the Hornby Cemetery in the afternoon. Definite times and the place for the buffet will be announced as soon as we are certain of them.

Thanks again for your continued prayers and support.

Until next time…

A Beautiful Day for Downsizing

Yesterday was a beautiful day for downsizing. The temperature was perfect and the sun shone all day. The wind was blowing hard or it might not not have been so pleasant.

Where I live, we only have a place to dump junk furniture, etc during a very limited period. Well, on Friday, the junk dumpster was delivered so I decided to tackle my shed. My cousin Richard and my friend Karen and I took my rocker/recliner down on Saturday and yesterday, I probably made 10 – 12 trips there with my tricycle, the basket filled with suitcases, old card tables, etc. etc.

It was difficult to get rid of some of this stuff. I finally discarded a record cabinet – yes, for phonograph records – Mark and I bought it the first year we were married. It was a somewhat flimsy cabinet that we had patched, but had been sitting in the shed since Mom and I moved here more than 6 years ago. I certainly would have no room for it in my travel trailer.

Today, if it is still nice out, I will continue my determined downsizing. I’ve got to get a handle on what’s in the shed that I will be taking with me – mainly, tools. It will probably take me another day of cleaning out, but will be well worth it. I imagine it will take another whole day to sort out the tools. Over the years, Mark and I collected a lot of them, starting with a huge set of Craftsman tools that I bought Mark for Christmas the first year we were married. I imagine I’ll probably only get rid of duplicates.

Well, I guess it’s time to get a little work done in the house before I start on the shed again.

Until next time…

Getting Settled

Last night was my first night alone here at home. All I can say is that it was really weird. Since I didn’t need to leave a night light on anymore, the house was much darker than I’m used to. That may be why I slept so well.

I’m currently in the process of moving into what was once my Mom’s bedroom. It’s at least twice the size of my old bedroom. Until I started moving, I never realized how many clothes I had. It’s going to take some time getting used to their new location.

A Big Thank You.

My brother Ray, his wife Margie, my brother Jeff and his wife Kathy were here for several days. In spite of the circumstances, we had a wonderful time together. We rarely get to be together like this. Not only did we have some great conversations, but they worked so hard while they were here. It doesn’t seem right to just say thank you to them, but it’s about all I can do. I was glad for the help in packing up Mom’s stuff. As you can imagine, we found some interesting things in her drawers, including the Dish Network Remote Control.

I also want to thank all of you who have sent cards and emails with wonderful messages of prayer and support.

Well, it’s time to get back to work. I hope to settle my new bedroom completely today, but it’s going to take some time.

Until next time…

Mom’s Obituary for The (Corning) Leader

I wanted to provide Mom’s obituary for those of you who do not live in my mom’s home town.

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Ethelyn M. (Pierson) Tunning of Thonotosassa, FL passed away quietly at home on Sunday, March 7, 2010 after a long illness.

She was born in Corning, NY, on December 24, 1917, to Estella Jones Pierson and Ira H Pierson. Ethelyn was the youngest of 8 children, including her brothers Ike, Bert, Kenneth, and Paul and sisters Iona Clark Benedict, Ruth Harrison, and Lana Anderson Ballinger, all of whom pre-deceased her.

After she had to drop out of school in the tenth grade, she worked as a nanny, then in a factory making parts for the war (WWII) effort. She later worked as a waitress, a cook, and then, before retiring in 1980, from her job of assistant chef at the Corning Country Club.

She married Charles E. Tunning on December 25, 1943. She is survived by her three children, Kathleen Tunning Dillenbeck of Thonotosassa, FL, Raymond Tunning of Milan, TN and his wife Margie, and Jeffrey Tunning of Lawrenceville, GA and his wife Kathy, several grandchildren, as well as numerous nieces and nephews.

She loved to read, play cards, crochet, make ceramics, travel, and spend time with her family and friends.

A memorial service will be held in Corning, NY, later this year, date and time to be announced.

Donations may be sent to Wounded Warrior Project.

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Today, we packed up Mom’s clothes and took them to Goodwill. Wow, did she have a lot of clothes! She loved pretty things, probably because she was such a pretty thing.

Until next time…

A Busy Day

This has been a busy day. My brothers and their wives and I went to Serenity Meadows to make arrangements for Mom’s cremation. Rather than having any kind of services here, we will be taking her remains up to New York to bury at Hornby Cemetery and having a service and get-together for family and friends to celebrate her life. We just finished the obituary and sent it to the funeral director. After a day or so, you should be able to check it out at www.SerenityMeadows.com and click on Visitations and Services. Click “All Obituaries” and then make sure Mar ‘10 is highlighted.

Thanks to all of you who have contacted me with your prayers and support. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family.

Until next time…

Finally, Mom Is At Peace

This morning (March 7, 2010) about 6:30, Mom passed away quietly in her sleep. My brother Jeff,his wife Kathy, and I spent most of the night sitting up with her because we knew the time was near. For 19 hours straight until about 2 yesterday afternoon, Mom was talking and moving around a lot. Then, she just went to sleep and lay fairly quietly.

As the night passed, we saw the marks of her illness erased from her face. No longer was her mouth drawn down on one side. She lay quietly, her breathing more and more shallow as the night went on. It was a sad and yet happy time as we relived many of our memories of Mom, the way she grew up and the way we grew up. She was a great mother and we will all miss her.

In truth, she was taken away from us more than three years ago by a disease called Alzheimer’s. The last few years have been very hard for her and for her family. It was especially hard for her. She woke up almost every morning not knowing who she was or who the people around her were. She told me many times she was scared of everything. Now, she is at peace, cradled in Jesus’ arms.

The nurse from Hospice came in, called Serenity Meadows funeral home to have them pick up her body, destroyed the medicines, and filled out a lot of paperwork. She was very nice, as were all of the people from Hospice. The people who cared for Mom from Right at Home Plant City were also very loving and kind and did a good job taking care of Mom. This allowed me to get away from it all a few times a week.

We won’t be having any kind of service here, since most of Mom’s friends and family are still in New York. Instead, Mom will be cremated and later this year – maybe, late spring or early summer, we will have some kind of service in New York. Her ashes will be laid to rest in the Hornby Cemetery not far from her sister Ruth and brother Bert. I’ll announce the details of this as the time gets closer.

Once again i want to thank all of you for your prayers, your good wishes and your support.

Until next time…

Shutting Down

In the last day or so, I don’t think Mom has eaten more than a few spoonfuls of food. She rarely will take a drink. I think this is because she is afraid she will choke and she is just not very hungry.

She rarely wants to get out of bed now and can only do so if I lift her into her roll-a-tor and wheel her into the living room. Other than when she uses profanity (which is getting rarer and rarer), it’s nearly impossible to understand anything she says. She spends a lot of time talking unintelligibly and occasionally dozing off. If you respond to her chattering, she doesn’t appear to hear or understand what you are saying.

The last day or so, she has been opening her eyes wide and staring up toward the ceiling. This is often accompanied by reaching up with both hands. It’s funny. Normally, her eyes appear cloudy and unfocused. When she does this, her eyes appear clear and it looks like she is looking at something specific.

My cousin Richard stopped by this afternoon and Mom held his hand in both of hers, rubbing his hand and arm affectionately. After he told her he loved her as he was leaving, she said she loved him too. Richard was one of the last people Mom seemed to recognize whenever he came over or when, during her better days, we went over there. I am so blessed to have such a close and loving family. Those who cannot be here have been keeping in touch and letting me know they are praying for us.

My brother Jeff and sister-in-law Kathy are arriving tomorrow. It will be comforting to have someone else here, since it looks like Mom’s body is shutting down and her journey to heaven will be soon.

Until next time…

Mom’s Life-Long Habit

Many of the readers of this blog may not be aware of one of my mother’s life-long habits: NEVER GIVE UP!

Throughout her life, Mom, who never went beyond the 10th grade, worked so hard and never gave up, in spite of the circumstances, including after her marriage and separation from my father. She raised her three kids on a waitress’s salary, working overtime whenever she could. My dad left home when Mom was pregnant with my brother Jeff and NEVER sent any child support.

I can remember reading by candlelight when Mom didn’t have enough money to pay the electric bill, but I don’t remember ever going hungry. In spite of the financial difficulties, I don’t think any of us ever thought of ourselves as poor – even though we were at least in terms of what money can buy. We were never poor in terms of a mother’s love and support of a wonderful family.

Following is a poem I wrote for Mother’s Day several years ago. I think it tells the story.

My Mom

My mom worked hard when I was young, so that we all could eat.

With three kids and no help from dad, this was a stellar feat.

Her formal education stopped the day she reached grade ten.

Her father thought school was a place reserved for boys and men.

Well-paid jobs were hard to find without some special skills,

But she worked hard--the hours were long--so she could pay the bills.

When I was young, she brushed my hair and washed my hands and face.

She listened while I rambled on, wiggling all over the place.

She washed my clothes and wiped my nose and bandaged my bruised knees.

She wiped my tears and calmed my fears and, gently, cared for me.

She read to us, when she had time, and I can still recall

Rapunzel with her golden locks, the prince who scaled the wall.

She kept us on the narrow way and taught us right from wrong.

She taught us all to love to read, to sing a country song.

Saturdays, we went to sleep with the Wheeling Jamboree.

Doc Williams sang us lullabies, at least before TV.

We did not know that we were poor, though there never was too much,

We always knew that we were loved by voice and act and touch.

What is there I can do for her to thank her for her care,

To thank her for her constant love, for always being there.

Good mothers are a gift from God, and He gave me the best

When He gave me a mother who stands out from all the rest.

She’s loved so much. There are no words to thank her for her love.

I pray that God will rain on her His blessings from above.

 

As you know, if you read this blog on a regular basis, Mom is getting weaker and weaker. She can no longer walk, even with help, but it doesn’t keep her from trying. I took a picture today which shows her life-long habit is still in force.

Here she is in her roll-a-tor, which I had to lift her into, trying to lift herself out. I have to remind her that her legs will not support her weight. She just will not give up her wish to walk wherever she wants.

Isn’t her hair beautiful? It’s been many years since she has had long hair – I never remember seeing her with it, though I have seen pictures. Maria, one of Mom’s helpers, likes to comb Mom’s hair and put it up in different ways. This style is particularly attractive.

The picture also gives you an idea of how skinny she’s getting, though the sweater masks how thin her arms and upper body are.

Until next time…